Music Review: Eddie B- Paper, Piff & Polo
As it turns out, Paper, Piff & Polo is a pretty fitting title for this record as it’s just about all Eddie B talks about for the entire 48 minute disc. In fact, I have no personal knowledge of Eddie B or anything about him, but by the 1,300,500 reference of smoking weed and the 100,900,800 reference to how much money he has (all numbers approximate) I started to think that maybe this guy really does like weed and money.
Luckily, Eddie B decides to branch out from time to time to cover other topics including intercourse with various females, describing how he’s the best at rapping, and then some more about weed smoking, because in Eddie B.’s world there’s never enough weed smoking.
Now full disclaimer before I begin to decipher this album on a track by track basis, I had never heard of Eddie B before listening to the album and after listening I’m not quite sure I’m in the target audience for such a project. Truthfully I don’t even know what the B. in his name stands for and when I googled him the only information I could find was that he’s a white guy who apparently likes wearing hats and jean shorts. But with that out of the way, here’s a track by track synopsis of the jean-short aficionado Mr. B.’s new album:
Track 1: Galloping
If looking for one track representative of Eddie B. look no further than galloping. The track features all the Eddie B. favorites from smoking weed (I’m blazing the hash/get ready for the nuclear blast) to money (we making the cash fast) with a variety of sex references and brags thrown in for good measure.
Overall the track’s somewhat mediocre, but the language is definitely a little too salty to be playing on air.
Track 2: Rocket Ishmael
If held at gunpoint by Eddie B and his associates and forced to listen to one song off the album I would choose Rocket Ishmael. The beat is surprisingly solid and Eddie B. seems to have brought out his best rhymes about weed and sex for the occasion. Of course the song using former College Football star Raghib “Rocket” Ismail (not sure if he spells it wrong on purpose or not, maybe the weed’s getting to his head) talks about how he sells cocaine so quick it’s like he’s Rocket Is(h)mail.
Overall if I had to chose one song to play this would be it, but considering the number of obscenities and the fact that the song is about selling cocaine as fast as Rocket Ismail, probably not one to add to the playlist.
Track 3: Touchdown
In case you didn’t get that Eddie B liked football from his Rocket Is(h)mail reference in song two, he brings it back up with the track touchdown, although the parallel doesn’t make a lot of sense. The song is basically him saying a bunch of things about having guns and smoking weed with him saying “touchdownnnnnnnnnn” at certain time in the chorus.
Overall beat starts off promising until Eddie B. says a lot of stuff that is in no way connected.
Track 4: Green Leaf Sermon
In conjunction with fellow rapper Roc Marciano, Eddie B. goes on a minute long verse throwing in a variety of sports references including Wayne Gretzky, Irving ‘Magic’ Johnson, and Michael Irving, the last of who he claims to have sold an 8-ball to.
Track 6: The Warning
Another fairly mediocre song in which Eddie B. says he’ll “break up your family like orphan Annie.” Not terrible but not what I would call good music, he also gets out-rapped by everyone else on the song.
Track 7/8/9: Welcome to Surf School, Checkmate, Loudpack
None of these are necessarily bad, they’re not ones I’d go out of my way to play either.
Overall, no, no, and no.
Track 10: Piranhas of the Sky
Eddie B. starts off his verse: hickory dickory dock/ beautiful biddies from Sicilia, Italy sick on my Cock, which is about all you need to know about this song.
Overall, unless you’re into nursery rhymes turned sexual, no.
Track 11/12/13: Concentration, H.G.H., Anywhere it takes me
Isaiah Thomas, Rex Ryan, Mario Lemieux, Carmelo Anthony, Nolan Ryan, Pistol Pete references but nothing noteworthy otherwise.
Overall no, no, and another no.
Track 15/16: Destined for Greatness, Fountains
Synopsis of Track 15 sings about how he’s destined for greatness before rhyming: your bitch be looking good/but that pussy smell like tuna fish. Not sure this is what greatnes