of all the rappers, drake would release a mixtape and charge money for it… still, he released the lp, if you’re reading this it’s too late, beyonce style (…radiohead style?) and has already broken a half a mil records sold. laugh to the bank.

first thoughts…drake has the handwriting of a serial killer. i’m pretty i’ve seen this album art taped to the fridge, with muffled cries breaking through the floorboards.

second thoughts…this release is long. 70 minutes long. that’s two playthrus of yeezus or like three episodes of sister, sister. that’s a lot of tia and tamera, and that’s a lot of drake. i wonder what made the cutting room floor. still, it’s good to vibe to. like start the hot water in the bath, open a bottle of rose, drop a lush bomb in the water with some flower petals, and just spend the night with drake. problem is…not enough sex jams. drake’s here for the bruhs, and the few tracks aimed squarely at the fairer sex are relegated to the back. again, he’s treating this like a mixtape, like he’s gotta spit 100mph.

but when you’re talking for 70 minutes, you better have something to say, and i’m not certain drake’s really got a message here. i mean, i’m no numerologist or anything, but i noticed a theme when he said “SIX” all the time and there’s some gucci-like dude ad-libbing “SIX” at the end of almost every track. it’s almost like he’s trying to tell us something. so he’s from the six, toronto. he’s hyping views from the six, his next legit album. he’s sixgod, b/c rappers have dropped the yung from their names and have now become deities. and did you know 666 is the number of the beast? spooky…

but you’re not gonna hear drake dropping any young money call outs. if you’re reading this it’s too late marks the end of his contract with cash money records. some think it’s surprise release is a big middle finger to cash money’s ceo birdman. like birdman got home late, found out drake escaped his contract in the middle of the night, and, worse, had to read drake’s sh—y handwriting. and the numbers (SIX) do add up in some sense. drake did kind of give rise to toronto’s local brand through his OVO sound label, and their sound bleeds all over this record (slow beats, tinny drums, faded background vocals).

drake’s lyrics: he’s from toronto. f–k the haters. he’s got money. he gets sad sometimes…even lonely. that about covers it, tbh. weezy gets the standout line: “suck a ni**as dick for an iphone six.” but as a delivery man, drake’s got it. he knows how to take a little and extend it over these k-hole beats. on the song now & forever, he says maybe 50 different words…but the song bumps.  as i type this, i’m singing along to it in my head. drake knows how to make a hook infectious, how to change the flow and flip the beat at the right time. when he starts yelling “RUNNIN THRU THE SIX WITH MY WOES,” i’m right there with him, trying to hold all my feelings in the cold streets of canada.

so how do i feel about this album? it’s kind of low effort (like this review–Ed.)…but it’s also on repeat. the real draw here is drake’s charisma plus the spaced-out synth beats that serve as the backbone of this mixtape. it shakes the car doors, but also has some subtle r&b samples in the background that only emerge on headphones.

so do you like PARTYNEXTDOOR? do you know all the ingredients in lean? just curious about that one. is clams casino a thing? do you actually love makonnen? does anyone actually love makonnen? do you know why there are gunshot samples on this album? you can’t open carry in canada… is drake’s crew gonna hug us to death? is drake gonna release his next album as a mixtape? so many questions drake, and for 70 minutes of my life, not enough answers. honestly tho, this mixtape is the bath bomb of the week.

i’ve give this album six 6s out of 6, lushgod